I am not talking about the best-seller
“Fifty Shades of Grey” in which Mr. Grey indulges in sadistic-masochistic behaviours,
though I am looking forward to its appearing as movies, either in its original,
or in its “modified” versions by Hong Kong film-makers. It just appears to me that June 2012 is a
month of different shades of grey. Patient A worries about her daughter’s primary
two examinations. Patient B is desperate
to get rid of his renal stone. Patient C
wonders whether Netherlands can enter the final of UEFA European Championship. Patient D is counting his final days from
terminal liver cancer. Patient E has a
relapse of depression from the European sovereign debt crisis. Patient F is saving every penny for his 300 square
feet dream flat and defaults follow-up for hypertension… Last but not the least, Patient Z is worrying
about global warming.
I am sure that June 2012 is no
different from any June, or in fact any other months in 2012 or other years. What is different is only my perception. Somehow I had picked up more negative messages
and feelings from my patients. The
Buddha teaches us that life is suffering. Although he also points out the ways to the cessation
of sufferings, they are more easily said than done. However, I got a little bit enlightened after I
paid a visit to Siu Chi.
Since 2007, I have been
sponsoring a little girl, whom I named Siu
Chi
from her original name, in one of the charitable organizations. I first met Siu Chi when she was a
four-year-old in kindergarten. She was
adorably cute with pretty round face and short haircut fringe bang. When the little one first met me in the
playroom, she was terribly nervous and withdrawn. For thereafter visits, I tried to “bribe” her
by bringing her little gifts like toys, books, soft drinks, candies, and fries.
As most of the children did, she loved junk food from McDonald’s
very much. It took several months’ time
and we became friends.
Even as young as four, she
was already a clever and practical child. Whenever I appeared outside her classroom, she
smiled and ran to me. After having a
quick glance towards my hands, she would ask me sweetly, “What are you bringing
for me today?”, “Is it a box of colour pencils?”, “Is it a book this time?”… And if she saw the paper bag of McDonald’s,
she would scream happily, “McDonald’s!”
I became busier at work
and studies, thus I stopped visiting her for a period of time. It was months ago that I decided to re-visit
her again. Time flied. I no longer picked her from the prep school
building; instead, it was the big kids’ schoolroom in the main building. When she was called by the staff, she put down
a book she was reading. We had not seen
each other for one year and a half, and she was then a grown-up kid. She was still having her short haircut, but
no more flat fringe. And she was wearing glasses! Unlike when she was little, she threw
a glance at my hands without saying a word about the gift. I handed her the little gift and she happily
held it in her hand. I was curious why
she did not do the unwrapping as she used to do. I suggested her to unwrap the gift and see if
she liked it, she answered in a charm look, “it is impolite to unwrap the gift
immediately before you.”
I was watching her playing
happily with friends in the playground when a staff approached her. I heard murmur of their conversations and then
Siu Chi quietly sat next to me. I asked if there was any problem and she
replied, “The nurse said you thoughtfully come and visit me, so perhaps I
should better chat with you instead of play with friends.” I felt a bit uneasy while highly praising her for being a very good
and polite girl. I suggested buying her favourite
fries for her next time. She
grinned.
Now and then, to arrange a
visiting time slot was a challenging issue for us. Siu
Chi was a primary school child,
and she had her busy life. She had tutorials and prep times
after school every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. She attended drawing lessons on
Saturday afternoons. And for Sundays and
public holidays, there were always group activities like visits
or tours. It was not until a few weeks
later that we found another time to meet. The staff called to confirm the meeting while
I suggested buying fries for Siu Chi. It was actually a rule for all sponsors to
get approval from the staff before bringing any food to the children just in
case they had food allergies or other physical problems. The answer was surprisingly a “NO” this time. The staff revealed that it was no good to have
fries after her proper meal. That was
the only “NO” I got throughout the years since I had sponsored her. Siu Chi was disappointed. She whispered, “What if I eat the fries after
my stomach digests the dinner food?”
While
we were worrying about the fries, I noticed that kids were brought in
constantly by policemen. Siu Chi seemed
not disturbed by such scenes. She said
that she had got used to new friends coming and old friends going. Was she worrying about her future? Her mother was in rehabilitation center and her
father in prison. She had grown up and
gained unnecessary social skills in two years. What would be the road ahead of her?
Well,
what I knew at that time was that I could paint some colours on the background
of grey by smuggling some fries for her. To Siu Chi, she practiced “the power of now”
nicely. Afterall, it is perception that
matters.
(Source: HKMA News June 2012)
